Well, the bad guys came and took away your Nintendo
I'm sorry 'bout it, buddy, but you gotta keep the windows shut
And I've been marchin' 'round here callin' my pretty self "Champion"
Ignoring all my brothers in the Slop with their similar struts
Daddy did the dish-work, cooking up a pretty cool martyr
Mirror on the bottom of the soup bowl, slurp yourself up
Checkin' out the Autograph Art School -- baby, why bother?
Mirror on the bottom of the sidewalk, slurp yourselves up
Walking into showrooms
Dustin' off your costume
Channeling your Grandpa, grinnin' with a well-placed wink
Walking into showrooms
Just to use the bathroom
Channeling your Grandpa, grinnin' with a well-placed wink
Well, you made yourself a mess with the VHS's
scattered all around the carpet and the Lego chests
toppled over where a Bad Foot tramples and a Bad Butt falls
When you're scratching up a pad for the police 'port
you can take 'em in and show 'em all your brand new short
Cuz a clever little camera on a tripod ran and caught it all
Walking into showrooms
Showin' off your costume
Channelin' your Grandpa, grinnin' with a well-placed wink
Walking into showrooms
Just to use the bathroom
Channeling your Grandpa, grinnin' with a well-placed wink
Rest so well at night in your modified armchair
Say goodnight to Mike, he needs it most
I saw you in a different light when you twirled around there
Saw you raise your arms in flight when you shed your coat
Well, the bad guys came and took away your Nintendo
But didn't you learn in movies ways to fight?
So trap 'em in a toybox, turn 'em into Idiot Allies
And let 'em stumble dumbly through the night
Let 'em stumble dumbly through the night
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